Hair Plugs & Convertibles: The Geography of the Midlife Crisis
A midlife crisis is not uncommon in men as they round second base in the baseball game that is life. Caused by a sudden awareness of one’s mortality and regrets about missteps can cause men to behave in absurd, but painfully stereotypical ways. Whether it’s ditching a spouse to chase younger women, trading in the minivan for a convertible or motorcycle, or spending the kids’ college fund on some new hair plugs, a midlife crisis can cause men to do some strange things.
Estately set out to determine which metropolitan areas have the most men in the throes of a stereotypical midlife crisis. To do this we ranked the 25 largest metros in the U.S. from 1-25 based on the following five criteria.
- Frequency of online searches for terms/medicines/companies related to hair loss treatments—Hair Club, Bosley, hair transplant, hair restoration, Minoxidil, and Propecia (source: Google Trends)
- Percentage of recent Craigslist ads for “men seeking women” that specify the woman must be younger (source: Craigslist)
- Percentage of Facebook users ages 35-55 who recently purchased a new or used motorcycle (source: Facebook user data)
- Cities with a higher ratio of divorce lawyers to marriage/family counselors (source: Yellow Pages)
- Percentage of area new cars for sale that are convertibles (source: Cars.com)
Our results show the midlife crisis phenomenon is scattered around the country, and not centered in any one particular region. However, these metropolitan areas ranked highest for men having a midlife crisis.
- Dallas–Fort Worth–Arlington
- When it comes to masking hair loss and seeking the company of younger women, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has plenty of company in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Not only does the area rank in the top ten in four out of five categories, it also Googles “low testosterone” more than any other metro area. All this combined allows the Metroplex to take home the title of the Midlife Crisis Capital of the United States
- Atlanta–Sandy Springs–Roswell
- Atlanta has more than twice as many divorce attorneys as it does marriage and family counselors—the highest ratio of any of the 25 largest metro areas. Marriage counseling is known to work as a speed bump to middle-aged men racing to get divorced so they can chase younger women.
- Phoenix–Mesa–Scottsdale
- Many a Phoenix-area man dreams of rising from the ashes of middle aged misery to reclaim his youth. Unfortunately, that seems to consist of buying a motorcycle and looking up ex-girlfriends from high school on Classmates.com.
- Miami–Fort Lauderdale–West Palm Beach
- Not everyone in South Florida can wait until they’re widowed in a nursing home to jump back into the dating scene. Some have to rush in while they still have a patch of sparse hair on their rapidly thinning scalp.
- Chicago–Naperville–Elgin
- Given that Chicago area residents Google “toupée” and “hair piece” more than any other major metropolitan area it’s no surprise residents of The Windy City don’t crack the top ten in convertibles for sale.
- New York–Newark–Jersey City
- It’s not surprising that the city that gave us Donald Trump, America’s midlife-crisis-come-to-life-presidential-candidate, would rank in the top ten. It’s also not surprising New York Googles “dating younger women” more than people in other metros.
- Los Angeles–Long Beach–Anaheim
- If any place provides anecdotal evidence that an older man with a sports car can date someone half their age it’s Hollywood. So perhaps it’s no surprise so many of the Los Angeles area’s middle-aged men have succumbed to the midlife crisis.
- Philadelphia–Camden–Wilmington
- Judging from their Craigslist ads. there’s no shortage of Philly-area men on the prowl for younger women. For the divorced men in that group, the odds are good. According to 2014 Census data, there more than 7.6 never-married women for every one divorced man.
- Minneapolis–St. Paul–Bloomington
- When the sun is out, Minnesota’s middle agers in crisis mode like to hop on their motorcycles, roll up their sleeves, and show off their cool tattoos. Minneapolis residents Google “cool tattoos” more than those in any other major metro.
- San Francisco–Oakland–Hayward
- Who’s the creepy dude riding through the office on his kick scooter? The same guy driving over the Bay Bridge in his convertible reminiscing about that epic Green Day concert.
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