50 Reasons Why Buying a House Is Better Than Buying a Condo

Trying to decide whether to buy a condo or a house? Estately has you covered with this concise list of 50 reasons why buying a house is vastly superior to buying a condo. 

1. Condo living is described as all the joys of renting, but all the pains of owning.
2. Spoiler alert: Your condo neighbor is loudly playing the latest episode of House of Cards and you’re still two episodes behind!
3. Becoming a member of a condo association is often more painful than getting jumped into a street gang.
4. With a house, you can have your newspaper delivered by a kid on a bicycle just as the founding fathers intended.
5. Living in a condominium means adhering to countless condo association rules. No such rules for house dwellers who are basically the punk rockers of homeownership.
6. Throwing the ball around with your kid is more fun in a backyard than in a condominium hallway.
7. There are no famous Norman Rockwell paintings of condos.
8. Whether a neighbor is a terrible or amazing lover, only the condo owner will have auditory proof one way or another.
9. In case of a nasty divorce, you can divide a house in two just like in War of the Roses.
10. Trick-or-treating indoors in a crowded condominium will be illegal someday. Trick-or-treating is an outdoor activity.
11. Houses tend to hold their values better than condos so you can sell it later and then downsize to a condo and have extra cash to lavish your condo with a bitchin’ aquarium or heated toilet seats.
12. When the upstairs neighbor clips his toenails on his deck the clippings rain down on your deck and that’s gross.
13. Sucks to be the condo owner living next door to the absent minded person who forgets their iron is on.
14. A home loan for a house often comes at a lower interest rate than a condo does.
15. In rare cases where a band gets back together, those with houses can jam in their basements in preparation of the reunion tour.
16. In the event of a collapse of modern civilization house dwellers can farm turnips in their backyards to feed their families.
17. Houses are generally in greater demand so they’re easier to sell than condos.
18. Good fences make good neighbors, and there is no fence between you and your condo neighbor, just a few inches of drywall and insulation.
19. House owners simply let their dog into the backyard to do its business. Condo people put their pooch on a leash, follow it around the neighborhood in even the worst weather, and then awkwardly scoop up any dog waste up with a plastic bag.
20. In a condo there is joint ownership of any common grounds, passageways, etc. You know who else believed in property being publicly owned? Joseph Stalin.
21. Condo people have frequent and awkward chit chats with strange neighbors in the elevator, laundry room, mail room, and more.
22. If you live in a condo you’ll never experience the joy of watching your children rake leaves or shovel snow just like you had to when you were a kid.
23. How does Santa Claus get into a condo? Does he just slip under the door?
24. Would you rather live upstairs or across the street from that baby on the airplane that screamed for four straight hours?
25. Even if you take all safety precautions, there’s no way you’re going to be allowed to practice your archery on the roof of your condo.
26. Condos often have rules barring pets, but if you live in a house you can not only have a dog or a cat, you can even stock up on ferrets, or get a capybara, or potbelly pig, or a closet full of sugar gliders.
27. If you live in a house you can litter your front yard with political campaign signs, even the most absurd ones like “Trump for President!”  Condo dwellers often have rules barring such signs, so they have to find other ways to show people they’re completely detached from reality.
28. The condo lifestyle involves little to no yard work, which means house owners are probably more physically fit and would win in a fight.
29. There is no good place in a condo to bury the cat when it dies.
30. House owners can convert their garage into an awesome game or party room. Try doing that with your one parking spot in the underground parking garage.
31. A house can be divided into units and then sold off as condominium, but a single condo will always just be a single condo. It cannot multiply.
32. Sitting on a porch swing sipping iced tea and lamenting how the world is going to hell in a hand basket feels so much more natural when on the front porch of a house.
33. There are many expressions with the word “house” in it, but if you replace that word with “condo” it ruins the expression. For example…
    1. A man’s condo is his castle. 
    2. My condo is your condo.
    3. Condo is where the heart is. 
    4. How come doctors don’t make condo calls anymore. 
    5. I’ll have the salad. What’s the condo dressing?
    6. In Vegas, the condo always wins.
    7. A full condo beats a flush.
    8. I’m sorry for messing up your order. Your next drink is on the condo.
34. Most condo people have had to uncomfortably refuse a neighbor’s request for their Wi-Fi password.
35. People who practice on a regulation-height basketball hoop in their driveway are five times more likely to get picked first in a pickup game than someone who practices on a NERF hoop attached to their closet door.
36. Condo living is practically communal living so isn’t it only a matter of time before everyone in the building changes their last name to StarShine and starts dressing in matching robes?
37. How would you even go about creating a speakeasy or a fight club in a condo? Where would the secret entrance go?
38. Buried treasure is more likely to be found in a backyard then in under the floorboards in a condo?
39. Fact:  House parties last 48% longer than condo parties before being broken up by the cops.
40. On a hot day, where exactly are you going to put that inflatable pool in a condo?
41. Good luck convincing the condo association to build a treehouse in those decorative sweet gum trees.
42. Nobody is going to get drunk and pull the fire alarm in your house except you.
43. When the economy goes south, many condo owners can’t pay their dues to the rest of the owners have to cover them.
44. Need an additional bedroom? The only way to add an extra room in a condo is to divide one room in two. That’s addition by subtraction.
45. Even if given a corncob pipe and a button nose the snowman made on a condo balcony will be small, disappointing, and will lack a jolly, happy soul.
46. Can you really call yourself a fan if you don’t paint your home’s exterior using your favorite team’s colors?
47. Think about your first apartment. Do you really want to buy that?
48. A condo doorman must be given a hefty tip at the end of the year or else your UPS deliveries start going missing.
49. The condominium is basically a Carnival Cruise Line that goes nowhere, serves no food or drinks, provides no entertainment, but you still might catch some horrible stomach virus from one of the other passengers.
50. Sadly, Estately couldn’t come up with a 50th reason to buy a condo. In fact, buying a condo can be a really smart purchase, especially for first-time buyers, those in cities, and people who don’t want to spend time on maintenance. For a more balanced analysis check out Estately’s article “Condo vs. House: Which Home Is Right for You?”

Regardless of whether you decide to buy a house or a condo you’ll find Estately.com is the best search tools to find your next home.