10 Regional Foods That Will Probably Not Take Off
Every few months a new regional food goes national and becomes a hot item at restaurants. However, there are some regional dishes that will never experience widespread fame on account of being disgusting. Here’s a look at a few regional foods that are embraced on a local level, and politely refused by everyone else.
1. Chitlins (South)
It’s easy to be prejudiced against pig intestines because eating something from an animal that was used to digest something it ate feels kind of weird. The word “chitlins” is very cute, a clever ruse to trick you into thinking they’re something adorably cute, and not the dark, rank hallway that leads to a pig’s backdoor. Sometimes people refer to their children as chitlins, as in, “Here are my little chitlins,” which sounds better than “Here are my little pig intestines.”
Though somewhat popular in the South, chitlins are difficult to clean and contain a pungent odor when cooking, so they’re not likely to be the next hot food trend. You probably won’t see artisan chitlin eateries opening up next to cupcake shops, nor will they become the next super food like chia seeds.
2. Fried-brain Sandwich (St. Louis)
Usually made with cow or pig brains, the fried-brain sandwich is obviously problematic because of the word “brain.” No one has any problem with the words “fried” or “sandwich.”
The sandwich traditionally features a heaping slice of fried brain, served in a bun with pickles and onions. When you eat it, you will find yourself sympathizing with animals more, and one-day thousands of cows and pigs will show up at your door, expecting you to lead the revolution. And you will, but you will lose the war with the humans, and so eventually your brains will be served in a victory sandwich to the President, who will eat it on live television. Anyway, just a warning.
3. Koolickles (Mississippi)
Koolickles are less a food and more a thing to do when you’re bored. Sometimes you lick a battery or stick a paperclip in an outlet, and sometimes you fill a pickle jar with Kool-Aid and let the pickles soak. It’s hard to tell which is more dangerous.
A somewhat recent invention from Northern Mississippi, koolickles are the easiest item to make on this list, and yet it’s hard to foresee people rushing to their local pickle and Kool-Aid store to try it out. But you never know. It may become so popular that McDonald’s will change that slogan to “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, koolickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun.”
If you really want to eat sweet and sour together you should probably just stick to Sour Patch Kids.
4. Coddies (Baltimore)
Coddies are known as the “poor man’s crab cake,” a title that, like its ingredients, limits its chances of achieving national popularity. That’s the same reason why Gary Busey—the poor man’s Nick Nolte—is not as famous.
Adorably named (picture it as an animated cod searching for its father), coddies are a mixture of mashed potatoes, crumbled crackers, and a little bit of cod that is fried and served between two saltine crackers, just like Ritz Bits Sandwiches.
Coddies just seem like something that the Ally Sheedy character in The Breakfast Club would eat, so if you related to her, by all means dive in.
5. Lutefisk (North Dakota)
North Dakota didn’t invent lutefisk, the gelatinous fish product made from dried whitefish treated with lye can trace its origins to Norway and Sweden. However, North Dakota does harbor lutefisk, so they’re complicit in this culinary atrocity.
The best description of lutefisk came from Logan C. Adams, an assistant editor at The Jamestown Sun. “It’s sort of like really thick water,” he said, before spitting it out. Easily the least visually appealing food on this list, lutefisk has an air of punishment about it. It looks like something our future alien overlords will make us eat, but that’s also what will unite humanity to revolt.
6. Pepperoni Roll (West Virginia)
Originally a lunch for coal miners in West Virginia, there’s nothing inherently wrong with the pepperoni roll, and I’d be suspicious of any American who criticizes it. You take fresh pepperoni, roll it in the dough, and bake it, allowing the oil from the pepperoni to ooze into the dough. There’s not much that can go wrong there.
It’s the resemblance to other superior foods, like calzones and pizza, which may prevent it from taking off. Peperoni rolls can stand on their own, but you’ll have the urge to dip them in marinara, and then wonder why there isn’t any cheese involved. It’s like a band performing without its most popular members. “Where’s Slash?” you’ll ask.
7. Livermush (North Carolina)
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. The same cannot be said about livermush. Say it without loud: livermush! Just feel those beautiful vowels and consonants rolling around your tongue! It’s easily as beautiful as a “Cellar door.”
Livermush is made from pig liver, head parts, and cornmeal, then cooked in a skillet. That may sound gross, but it really depends on what head parts you use. In this case, it’s the part of the pig’s head that’s scared of becoming livermush.
This southern delicacy is such a staple of North Carolina that it hosts the Livermush Expo, a celebration of all thing livermush. You can have expos for anything.
8. Watergate Salad (Midwest)
The Watergate scandal was an unfortunate event in American history, but it’s been kept alive with this odd culinary concoction that manages to create the same feeling of anger and outrage. Here’s a salad that features pistachio pudding, canned pineapple, Cool Whip, marshmallows, and whatever else is gathering dust at the back of your kitchen cabinets.
Watergate Salad has other names, none of which help its case, including Pistachio Delight, Shut the Gate Salad, and Green Goop. There isn’t a single combination of the above ingredients that work, and none should be allowed to touch on a plate. Putting them all together only makes things worse, and is yet another stain on the legacy of Richard Milhouse Nixon.
9. Scrapple (Pennsylvania)
Scrapple is a mush of pork scraps combined with cornmeal, turned into a loaf, and then sliced and pan-fried. Pork scraps involve the leftover, nosebleed parts of the pig, which could include anything from pork snouts and naughty bits, to even the Hawaiian shirt it was wearing when it was slaughtered.
Scrapple looks like spam but without the festive pink color, so it’s not likely to electrify the culinary world. That being said, someday someone might open an eatery called Scrapple in Seattle. It could do well. Sometimes you don’t need good food when you have a clever name.
10. Cincinnati Chili (Cincinnati, obviously)
Cincinnati chili has long been a punching bag for the food media, probably because it looks like what would remain if you sealed someone inside a punching bag for ten years. Combining the unlikely pair of chili and spaghetti, it’s frequently derided by everyone outside Ohio and defended by about thirty people in the Cincinnati area.
Before dismissing it, however, consider this line from The Assassination of Jesse James, in which Brad Pitt turns to Casey Affleck and says, “You know what this stew needs? Noodles. You eat yourself some noodle stew and your clock will tick all night.” He wasn’t exactly describing Cincinnati Chili, but that’s as strong an argument for it as has ever been made.
Sometimes the reason certain foods have city names in front of them is that they will never leave the confines of that city, and that’s certainly the case here.
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