10 Cities Sick And Tired Of Being Excluded from “Top Cities” Lists
For residents of most large cities, it’s routine to see their city appear on numerous “Top Cities for X” lists. Whether it’s the art scene, business climate, or ability to withstand a zombie attack, it’s common for most to see their city praised on the local news for some high ranking. However, there are some large cities in this country that are routinely excluded from these popular listicles. We’ve certainly heard from readers complaining that their city was omitted on ours so we decided to determine which ones get routinely left out. Here is Estately’s list of the Top 10 Cities Sick And Tired Of Being Excluded From Top Cities Lists…
JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA
Population: 853,382
Notable exception: Estately’s #11 Best U.S. City for Conservatives
“Top cities” lists Jacksonville would be ranked highly on:
- Top U.S. cities where it’s not uncommon to find an alligator lurking in your swimming pool
- Best cities to meet lonely sailors who thought they made it pretty clear last night they weren’t looking to get serious or anything
- Best cities for people who can turn any conversation into one about Tim Tebow
- Top sports towns for Buddhist monks who like to meditate in silence at NFL games
- You’ll be understandable irate when you learn these 5 U.S. cities aren’t named for country singer Alan Jackson
INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA
Population: 853,382
Notable exception: National Wildlife Federation’s #8 Best City for Wildlife
“Top cities” lists Indianapolis would be ranked highly on:
- Top cities for residents who purchased autographed Reggie Wayne jerseys that are so obviously forged
- Top U.S. cities where your stellar Crock-Pot cooking could easily attract a mate for life
- Best places for people who fall asleep watching NASCAR
- 10 most inaccurately named cities (only 0.3% of the city’s population is American Indian and Alaska Native)
- Top cities that send Tom Brady hate mail that read a lot more like the love letters of lunatics
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN
Population: 599,642
Notable exception: Bustle’s #6 Drunkest City
“Top cities” lists Milwaukee would be ranked highly on:
- Top 10 U.S. cities with non-tropical climates who purchase the most Hawaiian shirts
- Best cities to stay indoors during winter and complain about the photos of sunny weather your cousin in California keeps posting on Facebook
- Top places where people inexplicably turn off safe search when doing a “Brett Favre” image search
- Top cities where people in bars still argue about “who the real MVP of Super Bowl I was”
- Top U.S. cities for people to impress their neighbors with their collection of domestic beer coasters
- Best places in America to see someone you could swear is Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid
TULSA, OKLAHOMA
Population: 399,682
Notable exception: The Asthma and Allergy Foundation’s #15 Most Challenging Place to Live with Asthma
“Top cities” lists Tulsa would be ranked highly on:
- Top cities where you’ll find people arguing over who’s been to more Garth Brooks concerts
- Top cities with aquariums that have also been the site where a Weird Al Yankovic movie was filmed (1989 comedy UHF)
- 5 essential cities for fans of 90s boy band Hanson to visit before they die, or at least accept that they’re adults now
- Best cities for making 100% of your grocery purchases from convenience stores
- 10 most regrettably named cities when you spell them backwards
- Top U.S. cities where you’re most likely to find people eating fast food from a bucket while resting vertically in their recliners
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
Population: 383,320
Notable exception: Estately’s #1 Most Taco-Crazed City in America
“Top cities” lists Arlington would be ranked highly on:
- Top cities for people who don’t know how to ride a horse, but still say “Yee ha!” every time they fire up their rider lawnmowers
- Top cities where people will reluctantly stop to use the bathroom when they’re driving to Dallas and just finished a Big Gulp and simply can’t hold it much longer
- 10 places nobody would know about if there wasn’t a sports stadium there
- 10 U.S. cities that are mostly just parking lots
- 5 most populated U.S. cities that also happen to have the most unoriginal names
- Top cities where Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has asked his limo driver to pull over so he can relieve himself behind a dumpster
BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA
Population: 368,759
Notable exception: Estately’s #13 Best U.S. City for Douchebags
“Top cities” lists Bakersfield would be ranked highly on:
- Top cities not in China where wearing a respirator is more than an odd fashion statement, but could actually save you from a getting crippling lung disease
- Best inland California cities with a population over 300,000
- Top cities for people who couldn’t hack it in Los Angeles
- Top places where people still say “Hit me up on MySpace”
- Most likely places in California that will turn into post-apocalyptic hellscapes like in Mad Max if this drought gets any worse
- Top cities to be named in a song performed by country musicians Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens
AURORA, COLORADO
Population: 353,108
Notable exception: WalletHub’s #14 Hardest Working City in America
“Top cities” lists Aurora would be ranked highly on:
- Places where people remain nostalgic for their mama’s home-cooked TV dinners
- Top cities where people name their cats “John Elway”
- Best U.S. cities to hit multiple garage sales in the same neighborhood on the same day
- U.S. cities with names that sounds like a line of cars Chrysler discontinued in the 1980s
- Top cities where people in bars claiming to be U.S. Air Force pilots are actually pilots, or at least in the Air Force
ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA
Population: 346,997
Notable exception: Estately’s #3 Best U.S. City for Conservatives to Live
“Top cities” lists Anaheim would be ranked highly on:
- Top cities to have their names removed from a professional sports team that still plays within the city limits
- 5 cities anxiously awaiting Good Charlotte’s next album to drop
- Top U.S. cities to have a chili pepper named after them
- Best cities to get paid to dress up like cartoon characters and not have to do anything weird or at least something you’d be ashamed to tell your parents about
- 10 U.S. cities you might be surprised to learn were once run the Klu Klux Klan (really)
- 5 places that have the audacity to claim to be home to the “happiest place on earth”
CINCINNATI, OHIO
Population: 298,165
Notable exception: Lincoln Property Company’s #6 Best U.S. City to Relocate to
“Top cities” lists Cincinnati would be ranked highly on:
- Top U.S. cities that smell something bad from across the river and immediately think, “Oh no, what has Kentucky rolled around in this time?”
- Best U.S. cities to learn the art of Corn Hole from a true Corn Hole master
- Most popular Midwestern cities named for Roman dictators
- Best cities to set a 1970s TV show about a struggling radio station
- The 15 most frequently misspelled cities in America
SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA
Population: 297,640
Notable exception: USA Today Reader’s Choice #1 Most Romantic North American City
“Top cities” lists St. Paul would be ranked highly on:
- Ten cities that utterly disappointed honeymooners who visited solely because the city appeared on USA Today‘s list of the “Most Romantic North American Cities.”
- Top cities that would have eaten their twin city in the womb if they could have
- 5 cities where it’s still acceptable to for a total stranger to offer you homemade Jello salad on public transportation
- Best cities for the Canadian Olympic Curling Team to meet unexpectedly enthusiastic American groupies
- Top cities that were once named “Pig’s Eye” and were the childhood home of comedian Mitch Hedberg
- 10 U.S. cities that like to put cheese inside their burger patties instead of on top which seems like a dangerous game to play with hot, molten cheese that could squirt out and sear the back of your throat
Did we forget any cities and/or lists they belong on? We’ll probably regret saying this, but let us know in the comments.
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