In Which U.S. States Are All The Deadbeat Dads Hiding Out?
While he’s clearly not at his kids’ soccer games or piano recitals that deadbeat dad does have to be somewhere. But which state is that drunk loser most likely gambling away money he should be spending on child support? Estately set out to determine which U.S. states are the most likely location of America’s thousands of deadbeat dads. Basically, which states have the most divorced men busy drinking, gambling, not working, and trying to shirk their responsibilities. To do this we measured the seven factors listed below, ranked each state from 1-50, and then averaged the combined rankings.
- Total number of divorced men (source: U.S. Census)
- Percentage who have been married three or more times (source: Bloomberg Visual Data)
- Total number casinos, racetracks, and card rooms (source: American Gaming Association)
- Unemployment rate (source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
- Expressed interest in the men’s rights movement amongst men (source: Facebook)
- Frequency of binge drinking (source: Center for Disease Control & Prevention)
- Frequency of Google searches related to “child support” (source: Google Trends)
Profiles of the Top Ten States
1. Missouri
The Show Me State is prime habitat for men who don’t show up. Your deadbeat dad might be living their now, probably creepily looking at photos of your friends on Facebook and rating them on their attractiveness.
2. Louisiana
The man who was supposed to set an example of hard work for his kids might be busy not working in Louisiana.
3. Florida
There are millions of divorced men in Florida, but is one of them the dad who’s a decade late on his promise to take the training wheels off your bike? It’s possible.
4. Illinois
Whatever Illinois bar he’s drinking in tonight he’s most certainly not drinking out of a “World’s #1 Dad” coffee mug.
5. Indiana
That deadbeat dad of yours might be in an Indiana pawn shop right now, probably hawking the last of the family heirlooms.
6. Iowa
Maybe the reason he forgot your birthday again is because he blacked out drunk at the county fair and lost his job as a carny.
7. Oklahoma
The gambling options are ample in Oklahoma, as are your dad’s excuses for not sending his child support check again.
8. Tennessee
All your dad’s exes may live in Texas, but that’s not why he hangs his hat in Tennessee. It’s because there are plenty of other people there working on their 4th marriage.
9. Arizona
While the thought of that irresponsible loser wandering lost in the Arizona desert has a certain appeal to it, he’s probably just playing online poker on his phone in a Jack in the Box men’s room.
10. Ohio
If your dad is hiding out in Ohio, hopefully his multi-decade losing streak is cheering up Cleveland Browns fans.
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