27 Reasons California Is Better Than Texas

There’s been considerable press about people and businesses in Californian packing up to move to Texas, but is the grass really greener in The Lone Star State? Estately dug into it and compiled 27 reasons why California is still a better place to live and buy a home than Texas.

1. Same-sex marriage still banned in Texas

While Texas’ ban on same-sex marriage was found unconstitutional by a federal judge, same-sex marriage remains outlawed pending an appeal to the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. While thousands of Texans wait their turn to exchange vows, same-sex couples in California have been busy marrying each other since 2013. In fact, Houston’s mayor had to travel to California to marry her partner of 23 years.

2. Love lasts longer in California

Even with the short shelf life of Hollywood marriages skewing the stats, California marriages seem to do better than Texas ones. Only 12.2% of Californians are divorced or separated—it’s 13.8% for Texans. Also, the average California marriage lasts 18.2 years, a full year longer than Texas ones.

3. Wish they all could be California burgers

There are 26 In-N-Out Burger locations in Texas, but zero Whataburger locations in California. When it comes to burger love the feeling is NOT mutual.

4. Texas has more STDs

When it comes to the consequences of fornication ol’ Texas has got itself a heaping helping of crotch critters. According to the CDC, the Lone Star State has far more cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and H.I.V. diagnosis per capita than California does. Makes you wonder why they were so freaked about Ebola last year.

5. Texas has hella rabies

If you see a Texan foaming at the mouth don’t be surprised. Between 2011-2012, there were over 1,702 cases of rabies reported in domestic and wild animals in Texas, far more than California’s 476.

6. Minimum wage is $9 per hour in California

Full-time workers making minimum wage earn $1.75 more per hour in California than in Texas, where the minimum wage is the federal minimum of $7.25. Over the course of a year, this adds up to an additional $3,500 for those in California. That’s enough money to catch a flight to Texas, propose to a fellow fast-food worker, get married, and fly back to start a life together in California.

7. Larger douchebag population in Texas

If you live in a city and are surrounded by douchebags there’s a good chance you live in Texas. In Estately’s study of the 100 most populated U.S. cities, it found four out of the five cities with the highest percentage of douchebags were in Texas. No California city cracked the top 12.

8. More National Parks

Despite Texas being larger than California, Texas has only two national parks to California’s nine. California also has seven times the acreage and millions of more annual visitors.

9. Double the college football championships

Texas fans may only remember Vince Young’s game-winning run to clinch the 2005 BCS National Championship, but California football fans have a longer memory. Over the years, California schools have won 14 college football championships, while Texas schools have won only seven.

10. People die sooner in Texas

The average lifespan for a Californian is 80.8 years, approximately 2.3 years longer than the average Texan lives. Maybe this is because Texas has the highest percentage of people without health insurance in the country— 22.1%. Or maybe it’s all diabetes (6.8% more) and heart disease and…

11. Texas is more obese

They say everything is bigger in Texas, and that goes for the people as well. The obesity rate in Texas is 30.9%, while California’s is just 24.1%.

12. California has more pandas

California’s San Diego Zoo is one of four U.S. zoos with pandas, and it’s got three of the adorable creatures. Texas has zero pandas, but they can watch the San Diego pandas on their panda cam.

13. California makes way more wine

Despite being roughly 60% the size of Texas, California produces 975 times more wine than The Lone Star State. Even Wisconsin makes more wine than Texas. Wisconsin.

14. Texas takes more federal dollars

For every dollar, Texas pays the federal government in taxes it gets back $0.94, while California gets back a paltry $0.78. And despite all the anti-government rhetoric in Texas the state actually has more government jobs per capita than California does.

15. Drinking ice tea is for suckers

Texas loves its sweet tea, probably because they don’t brew enough beer. California has 502 permitted breweries—the most in the country. Texas has just 117, less than a quarter of California, and the fifth-fewest per capita in the country. Those are practically Mississippi numbers!

16. California pays women better

When it comes to America’s gender pay gap, every state should do a better job. However, California ranks fourth for paying women—84% of that of men. Texas ranks 28th, with women there making just 79% of what men make.

17. California has a bear on its flag

The Lone Star flag of Texas and California’s flag each have one star. The reason why California’s flag is better is that it also has a badass grizzly bear on it as well.

18. More public hunting land in California

Texas may be full of hunters, but only 1% of the state is public hunting land. Thanks to all the National Forest and Bureau of Land Management land in California about 37% of the state is open to hunting. You don’t even have to know a wealthy rancher with a wild game farm.

19. More college grads/less student loan debt

In California, 30.7% of people 25 and older have a bachelor’s degree—3% more than in Texas. However, what Texas lacks in diplomas it makes up for in student loan debt. About 59% of students graduating college in Texas have student loan debt—4% more than in California. In addition, Texas grads owe nearly $5,000 more than California grads do.

20. Texas has more communists

According to Facebook user data, there are 25% more people expressing interest in communism per capita on the social network.

21. Bambi meets grille… far less in California

For Texans, the odds of crashing into a deer in the coming year are 1 in 314, nearly three times that of California. Just a little peace of mind for those leisurely drives in the country at dusk.

22. Texas’ economy dependent on oil prices

Both states have large, diverse economies, but Texas’ economy is far more dependent on oil and gas, which is prone to boom and bust cycles. With the price of oil dropping the state’s recent oil boom is suddenly lagging.

23. Come for the sunshine, stay for the $$$

The median household income in California is $61,904, over $10,000 more than in Texas. That extra money would buy a whole lot of yoga classes, smoothies, and palm readings.

24. More amusement in California

Do you enjoy having fun, laughing, and screaming with excitement? California’s your spot. The state has nearly double the amusement parks that Texas has, as well as twice as many comedy clubs. Come to think of it, a good travel slogan would be: California—Land of Amusement.

25. So many poisonous Texas spiders

Texas is home to eleven species of venomous spiders—the most in the country. California is home to eight.

26. California cowboy envy

Two of Texas’ favorite cowboy heroes are actually Californians. Both Ronald Reagan and John Wayne grew up and lived most of their lives in The Golden State.

27. Texas keeps thousands of tigers in cages

There are an estimated 10,000-20,000 pet tigers in Texas—more per capita than any other state. Not only that, there are actually more tigers in Texas than exit in the wild. Not surprisingly the state also leads the country in tiger maulings.