25 Washington State Cities Renamed by Search Engine Autocomplete
Want to know what people really think of Washington’s cities? We harnessed the power of autocomplete in a variety of different search engines to find out. Our method? We simply entered the query “[X city] is…” and autocomplete suggested an answer. We took the top answer and discarded nearly all suggestions in the form of questions. We didn’t record anything for cities lacking a distinct answer. In the end, we came upon these somewhat surprising insights into 25 Washington cities and our interpretation of them.
Aberdeen is… racist
Be careful when you name your city after the most racist city in Scotland because it will show up in search results.
Auburn is… lucky
Luck Auburn always getting lucky because of superior luck.
Bellevue is… a state of mind
Whoa, that’s some heavy stuff. Seems like Bellevue is already partaking in Washington’s newly legalized marijuana.
Bellingham is… boring
Luckily, there’s always something exciting going on over in Lynden…
Bremerton is… ghetto
Dare you to say that to someone from Bremerton.
Burien is… the king of King County
And it’s only 21 miles to the Emerald Queen Casino.
Edmonds is… 250
Is that average weight? Age of incorporation in dog years?
Ellensburg is… windy
And good thing it is or else Moses Lake would never get a whiff of Ellensburg’s cattle yards.
Everett is… ghetto
Can’t a city have 35 bikini barista stands without getting a reputation?
Forks is… real
Real what?
Lynden is… there a God?
Ahh, many come to Lynden seeking answers to life’s greatest questions.
Marysville is… completely gone
Gone? As in vanished? Well, now nothing can stand in the way of the budding romance of Arlington and Lake Stevens.
Olympia is… full of hippies
Do Washington residents really need a search engine to tell them that? You can smell Olympia’s patchouli from Raymond.
Pasco is… short for what?
Pascotopia? Pascocoabutter? Pascoooooooooohhhhhhyyyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhh?
Port Angeles is… Twilight
Ask yourself, in the battle for Olympic Peninsula dominance, are you on Team Port Angeles or Team Sequim?
Poulsbo is… in the room
Don’t freak out, but Poulsbo is in your room, probably hiding behind the sofa. Just open the door and in a firm voice ask it to leave.
Pullman is… boring
Boring? If only those WSU students would take a break from the books to let loose a little.
Puyallup is… a good place to live
At least until Mt. Rainier erupts…
Redmond is… a city
Issaquah is going to be so jealous.
Renton is… back
Renton has gotten real condescending ever since it came back from that private East Coast college.
Seattle is… boring/awesome
Google’s search says “boring” and Bing’s search says “awesome.” Perhaps Bay Area-based Google is just bitter because the Seahawks beat the 49ers in the NFC championship game?
Spokane is… reading
Yeah, that’s sounds like Spokane. There’s nothing Spokane likes more than sitting down by the fire with a good book.
Tacoma is… for lovers
The best love song of all time is the one Barry White sings about taking a woman on a romantic getaway to Tacoma.
Wenatchee is… Craigslist
Not sure how that works, but it provides a great excuse to check out the “Missed Connections” page on Wenatchee Craigslist. Like a Danielle Steele novel, this site provides heartache, romance, longing, poetry from country western songs, and so much more. Mostly laughter.
Yakima is… ghetto
“Ghetto” must be some kind of slang term for “fantastic burritos.”
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Estately is a national online real estate search site whose articles have been featured in the San Francisco Chronicle, Houston Chronicle, NBC News, Philadelphia Magazine, GeekWire, The Denver Post, and more.
