Garden Gnomes Need Homes—Will You Adopt?
Every year millions of garden gnomes are made, but many don’t find homes. If you’re a new home buyer struggling with the decision of whether to adopt a gnome for your yard or garden, here’s a collection of wonderful, lovable gnomes that might be a great match.
Combat Garden Gnomes
More than merely providing kitschy ornamentation, Gnomes are believed to protect gardens and lawns from evil sorcery, particularly if they’re armed with an AK-47. You can also get one with a bazooka launcher to provide slugs and snails with the ultimate in shock and awe.
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Zombie Garden Gnome
Perfect for Halloween or a zombie apocalypse, this brain-hungry zombie gnome tells the walking dead you’re a fellow traveler and to move along down the road. Also, the internet is positively crawling with zombie gnomes. It’s like the next big thing. Better warn the pink flamingos posing as lawn art that their days are numbered.
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Randy Garden Gnomes
Some scholars say the garden gnome is based on the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus. If that’s true, perhaps the common garden gnome wouldn’t suffer for a little added sex appeal, such as the reclining gnome above with the come-hither look or this Naughty Dancin’ Stripper Gnome below.
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Skel-E-Gnomes
If you’ve ever said a bad word about the SkyMall catalogue on a flight then you need to apologize because they’ve got the Skel-E-Gnome Garden Statues for sale. Take that Sharper Image!
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Sporting Gnomes
If you desire a more interactive garden gnomes, these gnomes make both lovely yard decorations and colorful lawn bowling pins. Also, many pro sports teams offer garden gnomes emblazoned with their team logo, including this Chicago Cubs fan whose beard represents how long he’s been waiting to win the penant again.
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Friends For Pets?
Do you have an outdoor pet that struggles to make friends? Perhaps an unpleasant cat or dog that can’t stop yapping? Gnomes are incredibly patient and friendly creatures that make ideal pals for pets with poor social skills.
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Flower Power
If your flower garden is a place for quiet meditation, this silent gnome in the lotus position will be your meditation guru. Actually, not this specific one because it was savagely run down by a lawnmower. Hear the tragic tale HERE.
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Steampunk Gnome
If you feel the likelihood of your garden being overrun by weeds and pest is high, then equip your garden gnome with a jetpack so he can escape if necessary.
There are literally hundreds of thousands of gnomes our there waiting to be adopted. The perfect one for you is out there waiting, unless you think they’re tacky, in which case never mind. Maybe you could adopt a dog instead?
Gnome Facts
- Garden gnomes originate in 19th century Germany
- Garden gnomes are banned from the prestigious Chelsea Flower Show
- The Garden Gnome Liberation Front works to free garden gnomes from yards and “return them to the wild.”
- Currently, there are 25 million garden gnomes in Germany
